I just need a minute, a minute without being poked and stretched and monitored. Reconstruction sounds wonderful but I’m just not ready for another procedure. My husband, the faithful man that he is, entertains our many life changes that cancer has brought to our lives. We are making great strides since the worst of treatment rendered my legs almost paralyzed only being able to walk the length of my house to the neighbor’s next store. We are training for a 5K! It’s a S L O W progress but we can finally run for 10 minutes straight. Wow, what a difference.
There are more changes that are coming to our house. Today I threw out all of our scratched Teflon pans and I’ll be exchanging plastic Tupperware for glassware. I’m on the lookout for anything broken in my house, heart and mind. I will repair, fix or throw out. Reconstruction just needs to wait a minute.
I’m enjoying the run without breasts to strap down and hair to manage! This reminds me to tell you about a wonderful little place called, Carols Post Mastectomy Specialists (702) 568-9595, where I found the prosthesis. The attendants there are very compassionate and full of secret hints and suggestions for us amputees. Boy, I laughed and giggled as I tried on prosthetic breasts. I tried an A cup and a DD! I asked if I could have one of each, but chose something in between. There are special bras that fit the prosthesis so I got a few of those too. It always feels great to get a pretty new bra. You know, these strap on breasts will work for a few more months.
I had a checkup this last week and found that my white blood count is very low at 4.6. The normal count is somewhere between 11 and 4 so you can see that I am on the low-end. Doc says it is normal to have a decreased WBC after chemotherapy. I’m trying not to tremble with fear because I realize that if I get sick, I won’t be able to get better without an immune system. Doc says that it was only a 3 in March! Gosh, I guess that’s why they call this a fight! My original instinct was that if I let the doctors do what they do best and if I do what I can do making better choices than God could do what he wants to do. I believed then and I believe now that the healing is mine for the taking. Am I strong enough in mind, body and spirit? Probably not; I can ask for help though. God’s Spirit will guide me through this maze of recovery and restoration. I’m certain that I’ll be alright. The answer is in listening to my convictions and responding quickly to that still quiet voice. Here are a few convictions I’ve heard: Don’t eat sugar, exercise, think good thoughts, be kind and forgive. I have motivation like no other to live right… Live-strong!
I’ve got to go… looking for more broken stuff to get rid of! Much love my friend.