My Dear Friend,
About your relationship… we’ve been friends long enough now for me to remind you that when God shows you His perfect man for you, then you will both know it. I smile when I say that because we have had this conversation before. 🙂 My heart broke when I heard your news. You can be confident that you have my prayers on this matter. As I pondered this through-out the day I kept coming back to the same thing which is; I hate that life is so hard! It is so hard that sometimes the people in our lives get thrashed right along with whatever we are going through.
I just kept thinking how hard things are in general for you lately with everything you’ve been dealing with. That would surely put a strain on any relationship. That’s no secret, right? Crisis is stressful on relationships. How do you get through it? How do you get on the other side and keep your relationship in tact? If you’re ready I’ll give you a few tips on what has worked for me in the past.
First of all, a man is not equipped to handle our emotions. I know, but it’s true. He is not your girlfriend! They are hardwired to fix things. When they cannot fix your problem and comfort you then they feel like they failed and can’t make you happy. Stupid, right? It’s true. You don’t have to hide or shelter them from what you are feeling, but keeping the “process” of it all to a minimum is helpful. You know how we hate it when they objectify us? That’s how much they hate to deal with our emotions!
I think there is nothing that attracts a man more then to know we are in love in Jesus. There is a mystery behind the way we give our hearts to God. They know that when we approach the Throne Room, they are only observers. It’s intriguing for them to watch the way God makes our hearts soft. That’s what they want! They want us to have a soft heart for them. How precious is that?
With all of that said, here is the confusing part. How much can we really rely on our men and more importantly how much is too much? How much is too little? Our guys want to comfort us and fix the things that hurt us, but they can’t cope with all those God given emotions that we have. It’s kind of a practical joke in a way! Let him know what a great job he is doing in supporting your efforts and encourage him (in your time of need). Find a girlfriend to process all of those hairy details that he just can’t bear. Ask God to help you grow and mature because Jesus is the only one who can truly FIX the problem.
Because I know that your relationship with Jesus is unmovable and you love Him with all your heart and soul. I know for sure that no matter the outcome, it will be the right outcome. Much Love,